SEX, LIES & SALVATION: REMOVING THE MASK ( EXCERPT)

The smell of bacon and eggs infiltrated the bedroom as I opened my eyes to a new day. It was typical of John to bring me breakfast in bed whenever he angered me or did something he knew was not right. The tray had English muffins, sliced oranges, a plate of bacon and eggs, coffee, orange juice and a single red rose. I sat up as he climbed into the bed having placed the tray between us. A sheepish grin on his face, he apologized for his behavior the evening before. I could hardly resist him when he acted this way. Accepting his apology, I kissed him on the lips, thanked him for breakfast, and this time the lovemaking was mutual and enjoyable. John left and picked up the children, dropping them off to school and the nursery before returning home to spend most of the morning in bed with me before I had to head out to the hospital for an evening shift. He agreed to keep his new-found career as far away from us as possible. Apparently, the four days had been spent in Jamaica setting up a trans-shipment of marijuana through our country on its way to the United States of America. The less I knew the safer I felt and I made this known to him. For the next several months I pretended that all was well. At different intervals, Hannah inquired about him when we would talk on the telephone. I could not bear to hear her self-righteous tirade if she knew what John was up to. Eventually, Hannah, sensing that I was not telling her everything, mentioned something that disturbed my spirit. She had overheard Mama Emmy talking to one of my aunts who had seen John with Paige the week before; they were contemplating whether or not they should tell me about it. Something in the way she said it instinctively told me that there was some truth to the accusation. This was too much I thought as I hung up the phone, my conversation with Hannah ending with the promise of a play date with the children the following Saturday. Paige—I had not heard that name in almost three years of our marriage and I wondered if John had decided to return to his old ways. After all, he had the time, the opportunity and the finances to get away with it without me having a clue about it. True to his word, he had kept his shady businesses far from me and the children; I did not even know about his many hangouts or none of his friends. It was time to investigate because I was determined this time to walk away—the drugs, the abuse and the disappearances were enough to contend with, but the added stress of Paige and an affair were completely crossing the line for me.